How Did the Guilt Begin, You Ask? Well
by becoolsodapop73
Summary: AU This is he prequel to my other story, "The Guilt is Necessary". It starts the morning after the rape, when Dick finds her in the bedroom. It also deals with the events referred to in the Guilt is Necessary: Discovering the rapist, Aaron Echolls' arrest, Dick and Veronica friendship, and Cassidy swan diving off the roof of the Neptune Grande. BTW I am also looking for a Beta.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or any of its characters and plots**

How did the Guilt begin, you ask? Well…

Chapter 1

No one's PoV

The house on the hill was silent.

Sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating trashed rooms littered with red, plastic cups, beer bottles and teenage bodies strewn across the floor and furniture. Most of the rooms were occupied with at least five bodies, all except one.

In a quiet guestroom on the ground floor of the house, a single girl lay in the white sheets of the bed. Her hair was golden and strewn across the pillows. She was dressed in white. All white.

In another room a blonde boy began to stir…

Dick's PoV

I wandered aimlessly through the house, whistling as I went, trying to remember last night's events when I saw a door to my left slightly ajar. Out of boredom and slight curiosity I walked in…

Veronica's PoV

A sound from the hall finally roused me from sleep. I looked around, completely confused about my surroundings.

There was nothing in the room that could explain how she got here, except… Oh No… No No No No…

Across the room , in a scrunched up pile lay her underwear. Tears silently streamed down my face as I felt a searing pain between my thighs…

That's when the door opened.

**A/N: This is the prequel many PMs and Reviews have asked for, if you are just reading this story I suggest you read my other story, The Guilt is Necessary. If you are confused about the Pairings of DiVe in this story and LoVe in the other story, Logan isn't in this story because it is mainly a build-up of the friendship that Dick and Veronica have in the next story and how it came to be. This story will also explain the events that are referred to in 'The Guilt Is Necessary'**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer- I do not own Veronica Mars or any of its plots or characters**

How did the guilt begin, you ask? Well…

Dick's PoV

Nothing, I mean NOTHING could have prepared me for the heart-breaking sight that was before me when I entered that bedroom. Part of me wished I could go back in time and resist the sudden urge that had come over me to enter this room.

Veronica was sitting on the floor in front of the bed, her hair was tangled and fuzzy, her dress was crumpled and one of its straps was broken and the edges were tinged with a substance that, he hoped was not blood, but even his simple mind couldn't deny was blood.

However, the most devastating thing was not the dress, or the hair, or the disgusting mix of blood and bodily fluids on the bed that he was trying to ignore, it was the look in her eyes, a look so completely broken that he knew, more than he knew anything before, Veronica Mars was dead, and he had, partially, killed her.

No one's PoV

The blonde boy and the blonde girl's eyes met.

Blue on Blue

Anger on Anger

Dead on Dead

They were both dead. Even if they didn't know it. Dick had been dead since his mother stepped out the door without looking back all those years ago. Veronica had been dead since her mother's hand raised that first glass of vodka to her lips. With that one look of mutual understanding, the blonde children were bonded for life. Bonded through abandonment and death and the emotions that they both tried not to feel; because even though they didn't pop pills like Duncan, or drown themselves in drink after drink like both their train wreck mothers, they had their own ways of getting rid of the pain.

A/N If any of you recognise that section (Blue on Blue etc) then you are amazing (I used a similar passage in another story, you will have to read them all to find out which)

A/N Tell me what you think, I need IDEAS! I have no idea where I am going to go with this story after I have done the morning after thing

A/N In "I'm pretty sure" I refer to a Dick/Veronica kiss, I was initially referring to the one at Shelley's party, but now I'm not sure. Do you think I should out an 'accidental' DiVe kiss in?

(This is a shameless ploy for reviews, but what can I say, I love the praise, even if your reviews aren't praise, I also love CONSTRUCTIVE criticism)

A/N In my world the tapes were found before the beginning of "The Guilt is Necessary" but after the rape


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars**

**A/N- If you didn't know this already, in my AU Dick has found Veronica after her rape, and Lamb is nice! **

Chapter 3-

Veronica's POV-

I honestly do not know how long we were standing there. Dick's face was an unreadable blank mask, except for brief, continual flickers of disgust, disbelief, pity and guilt in his blue eyes. After about ten minutes of silence, he opened his arms wide, and, without thinking, I ran straight into them and started to cry.

They were tears of anguish for what had been taken from me, tears of pain, tears of hurt, but also tears of gratefulness for the comfort he was offering me when he did not know the circumstances of what had happened, although to be honest, neither did I.

Dick's POV-

I don't know what compelled me to do it; I couldn't bear to see someone who I had admired for years (even when I supposedly 'hated' her) for her courage, determination and perseverance, looking so helpless, so broken.

So I opened my arms to her, hoping she would accept my offer of comfort, but I found myself also hoping she wouldn't, as it would probably make this situation so much more complicated.

When I felt her wet face on my chest all my doubts left me, I was going to find out who had made Veronica Mars cry, and they were going to pay. No one had managed to make Veronica cry since the weeks surrounding Lily's murder, and whoever had managed it now, was a dead man.

Veronica's POV-

"Veronica?" my name was whispered softly and comfortingly into my ear.

"Yes?" I snuffled the reply.

"If you don't want to go to the Sheriff's Office yourself I'll come with you?"

He said it uncertainly, like he was asking for my permission, not my opinion.

"You don't have to, I can go by myself, I'm pretty used to it, just go to Logan's or something…" I trailed off trying to block the tears threatening to spill down my face.

"Hey, hey" he pulled back, put his hands on my shoulders and knelt down to face me, "I know you think that everybody hates you, it's not true though-"

I scoffed and looked down at my bare feet,

"It's NOT!" he said it so assertively I almost believed him,

"Logan was upset, he was grieving the death of his first love and he wanted someone to blame it on so he wouldn't have to blame it on himself- I may act dumb, but I'm not, I know Logan, he's my best friend!"

"Dick…" I whispered, interrupting his tirade,

"…What?"

"I would like it if you came with me…"

"Really?"

"Yeah…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars**

Veronica's POV

We left the house in silence. The only contact we had was when I almost tripped over Casey Gant's unconscious body on the front steps and Dick caught me by the forearm; God knows how he managed to fall asleep _there._ Dick walked over to his car and reflexively opened the door for me, I clambered in and he started the engine. The short drive to the Sheriff's office passed in silence; but no an awkward one, it was a comfortable, companionable one.

When we arrived I hesitated before opening the door. Once I reported it, there was no going back to blissful ignorance. Would knowing who did it make it any easier? _Yes. _I am unsure whether that voice is my conscience or if it's the ghost of a previous life talking to me, a more assertive one. Either way, I swallow and enter the familiarity of the Sheriff's office with Dick following close behind me.

Everything hits me at once. All the aspects of this place that would normally be a source of comfort to me: Deputy Sacks answering the phone at the front desk, the rustling of files being searched through, Lamb turning red in the face while shouting at a new Deputy. They were intimidating now. I don't belong here. I'm not the same sweet innocent girl that I was yesterday. I am different.

I hear footsteps behind me, then two firm arms rest on my shoulders.

"You go sit down and I'll go talk to Lamb, alright?" he whispers quietly in my ear.

I nod and sit down next to a woman reading a newspaper. I attempt to engross myself in an abandoned magazine about interior design- probably left by some scorned 09er housewife- but my eyes impulsively flicker over to Dick and Lamb talking in the corner of the room. I see their eyes wander to meet mine a couple of times.

It's not particularly hard to guess how the Lamb/Dick conversation went from where I was sitting. I saw Dick walk up to Lamb start talking. Lamb's smile of greeting slowly dropped into a frown while Dick talked, and ended up morphed into a face so angry, it looked painful. He left Dick standing looking ridiculous with his mouth still half way open with whatever he was about to say still on his lips, and started sprinting around the room shouting orders and making phone calls. This is why I didn't want to report it. Lamb has always taking his role of protective big brother a little too seriously, and I knew he wouldn't rest until he found out who did this to me, and he would destroy them.

A/N- Do you think I should do a chapter in Lamb's POV?


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